Wednesday, January 11, 2012

The Weight

1 Corinthians 12:9-10

There is a number on the scale that has been taunting me for some time now.  Since the end of November the closest I have come to this number is 1.5 pounds above it.  Throughout December I bounced between 1.5 pounds and 4 pounds about the number.  I haven't been able to get past this one darn number.

You see, it's the number I weighed on this day:

Most women who gain weight after their weddings think of that "wedding day weight" as a major goal.  For me, it was that but it is also a major milestone.  I gained a few pounds after we got married, but most of this extra weight was gained throughout Isaac's declining health and after his death.

And as of this morning, I FINALLY broke that number.  I've lost the 25 pounds of "widow weight".  

Mostly, I feel completely and utterly THRILLED with this!  I am so proud and I feel so strong.  But, there's this little piece of me that has struggled to get past this number because in some way, I feel like holding on to that extra weight was a way of holding on to Isaac.  I know in reality that Isaac would be SO PROUD of me for doing this.  He would be cheering me on every pound lost and every time I up my weights at the gym and he might have even choked down a green monster for me.  Okay, that last part might be pushing it.  

Along with the physical weight I have lost, there has been a huge change in the "emotional" weight I've been carrying.  I can't begin to explain how GOOD I feel.  I have more energy, I sleep better, I am more confident, I am in a better mood (usually).  This comes from not just the physical work I've been doing, but the spiritual work as well.  I work hard at staying in God's Word regularly, at praying more consistently, at praising more frequently.  

I can't remember a time in recent memory that I have felt this much peace, joy, and contentment.  I thank God for giving me the strength to keep working at this.  I thank Him for blessing me with 8 months of marriage to someone as amazing as Isaac, who showed me what it really means to have God's strength in even our weakest times.  

Progress photos coming on Friday! :-)
Find more inspiration at Word Filled Wednesdays and Women Living Well!


  1. Oh wow! it is time for you to celebrate. You have been through so much and God wants to bless you and he is! How exciting. I can't wait until I have 25lbs off my scale! Time to do some walking! Have a wonderful week!

  2. Congratulations!
    My hubby and I are trying to cook and eat salt free and low fat and fewer carbohydrates. Loosing a couple of pounds already. They that WAIT upon the Lord shall loose WEIGHT.
    I may have that one mixed up a bit, but it sounds good.

  3. Congrats on the weight loss...emotional and physical! I admire you dedication and determination to meet your goals.

    joy & blessings to you,

  4. Congrats!! That is an awesome achievement! I hope to be where you are someday!

  5. Wow! Congrats! I followed your link because of the "weight" caption, I am currently in the midst of the battle of the lbs., but I am struck by your entire story. Good luck in your journey and prayers that God will give you joy unspeakable in 2012!